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Monday, 14 July 2003
Just Another Day at the Good Ol' Rehab
Well, first entry. Not too happy today. I mean, I got to see my mom at the rehab today because she had a major surgery done on her back about 2 weeks ago. So don't get me wrong it was great to see her well and doing just fine. But the last time I was at a hospital type of place was when I found out my dad had passed away. So I was sitting in a hospital for a few hours. Ever since then, either I am scared of them or just don't want to be around them at all. The thought of them makes me cringe. But the fact I got to see her made it better. I got to celebrate my birthday early with her. My birthday as it says on the profile is the 15th. I got my gifts from my grandmother early. I recieved a studded watch, which is oh so very awesome, and some earrings that matched a fancy necklace. I liked the stuff a alot. Then, my little brother proceeds to reveal about my new spiked bracelet that I bought for myself earlier this week. So, I got lectured from my mother, how she doesn't want that kind of crap to be worn and then my grandmother is saying how that type of stuff is garbage and should be thrown away. I mean, what is the harm is wearing stuff like that? NOTHING! I am not the devil, nor do I believe in god or the devil. I haven't for two years now. I do not harm myself by cutting, drinking, smoking, or inhaling. Or any drugs for that matter. I have never even touched a joint or type of drug. So what if I want to pierce my eyebrow and lip then get a tattoo later on. Does it hurt me physically or mentally? NO. Yes, I do hang out with people that do drugs or drink, but not once have they asked me in anyway to do so. They know I don't want to and they respect that I don't. That is the good part about my friends, they have never forced me to do anything I don't want to. So yet, what I wear, dress like, listen to, and who I hang out with is all shunned upon. Noone ever looks for who I really am. I am a good kid. I know I don't do well in school, but that just means I have to push myself harder. I am not going to let myself go downhill in life. It may seem like I am, but I really am trying to work things out right now. I have my dad's death to continue to deal with, now my mom is rehab, my grandparents pressuring me to be someone I am not, now almost school starting all over again. Sometimes I wished I lived by myself, not knowing anyone. Just so I can be alone without worries. I don't need people screaming at me to change when I already know who I am. I am a rocker. I am a poet. I am a rebel. I am a goth. I am a punk. I am my own person. I am getting to the point to where I will do this just to piss people off. I am not going to care if you tell me to listen to something else, go on a diet, wear prep clothes, or write differently. This is me! Accept me!!! I may not be the person you would like me, but at least I can think for myself and not have to follow the crowd. Well, this is enough babbling. See you all soon.
Posted by rockerchick49
at 12:26 AM EDT
Updated: Monday, 14 July 2003 2:42 AM EDT
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